The art of picking up women has been one that has played out through the centuries. We only wonder what sultry words Marc Antony summoned into Cleopatra’s ears, or what sonnets Casanova imparted to women whose hearts he stole.
Unfortunately most men today use pick up lines that are borrowed more from the latest episode of Jersey Shore rather than from the pen of Shakespeare. Pick up lines get a bad rap, but the truth is, while many women respond to genuine charm, they find corny pick up lines a true turn off.
It’s okay, there’s plenty of time to train yourself to stop using these tired lines and finally transform from being a corny Casanova to a true lady’s man.
Pay close attention, here are some pick up lines you might want to drop:
1.) Excuse me, do you have the time? No, I meant time to write down my number?
Why it’s horrible: The cheese factor is way high here. First of all, you’ve wasted her time just by asking. By “spoofing” her into being kind enough to look at her watch on your behalf, you’ve already made a fool of her and made her hate you before you can make your next move.
2.) I have to ask, are your feet tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
Why it’s horrible: Chances are she will know where you’re going with this before you even finish the question. Chances are, she will show you just how not tired her feet are by quickly walking away without answering.
3.) Let me guess, you’re from Tennessee? I can tell because you’re the only TEN I SEE in this room.
Why it’s horrible: Be warned, don’t even try this one above the Mason Dixon line. She will be so confused by this question that by the time you reveal the punch line, she will already want to punch you.
4.) What if I said you had a beautiful body? Would you hold it against me?
Why it’s horrible: This is borderline perverse. The only thing a woman is going to be holding against you after you pose this question is a restraining order. As far as pick up lines go, this is far too sexual too fast. It will instantly turn off any woman who has one iota of self respect.
5.) Hey, are those pants you’re wearing from outer space because your butt is out of this world.
Why it’s horrible: Maybe we could forgive a corny compliment if it had to do with something like calling out a lady’s eyes or hair. But her butt? Forget about her butt being out of this world, you deserve to be kicked to the moon for even considering using this cheesy pick up line.
6.) How do you like your eggs?
Why it’s horrible: We know what you’re trying to say. That you’re so sweet and sensitive, you are going to make her breakfast….right after she spends the night with you. This pick up line is one that should be banished from every menu. Assuming that a woman is going to be eager to spend the night with you, and then using that false logic to approach her for the first time is one scheme that, much like your breakfast eggs, is not fully cooked.
7.) Do you know CPR? Because you just took my breath away.
Why it’s horrible: If you manage to utter out the beginning of this pick up line without her dialing 911 or assuming the Heimlich maneuver pose around your neck, congratulations. After you’ve finally proven to the women you’ve used this line on that you aren’t actually chocking on a chicken bone, you may need to learn CPR just to revive yourself after the enormous slap across your face she gives you.
A word to the wise, evoking medical emergencies for the sake of a corny pick up line never works 🙂